TIME....
How much time do you dedicate to your loved one? Do you work often and not have much time for them at all?
I happen to be in a relationship where, after high school, we did not have much time for each other. We wouldn't see each other for a whole month and rely solely on text messages. It didn't feel much like a relationship back then. It was a drastic change going from seeing each other every day in high school to barely seeing each other at all.
We had to match our schedules, shift things around and really dedicate ourselves to making time for each other. These days, we'll see each other AT LEAST once a week.
The most important thing to do in relationships such as these is to MAKE SURE THEY KNOW YOU LOVE THEM. My boyfriend doesn't speak on his emotions much. Instead, he'll show me when we're together. The way he hugs me, cuddles with me, plays with my hair, smiles at me etc. Over the years, I've learned to accept the difference in how we tell each other just how much we love each other. I'm more of a verbal person when it comes to these things so I verbally say I love you or text it to him. Don't get me wrong, he does verbally express his love too. Just not as much as I do :)
So let your loved one know you love them and try to work with them to make time for each other. Best of luck!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
It takes TWO
People often tell me how envious they are that I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. They tell me how great we are together etc. etc. They wish they could find someone to be with long term. One thing people don't see is that we were FRIENDS first :) We built a strong bond and foundation for our relationship to grow.
One thing people do not realize is that relationships can be very Stressful. They take a lot of work from BOTH ends. What I'm saying is, you can be in a relationship and work hard to look nice, behave yourself, understand the person, support them, show them how much you love them etc. BUT at the end of the day, you may not get anything in return from the other person.
The sex may be great, they may buy you things and occasionally cuddle. They may do sweet things every once in a blue moon (as I wrote this particular part, a woman in blue jeans bent over in front of my face to talk to her child. Blue Moon indeed. Ahem.) but they may not put in the same amount of effort in the relationship especially in areas needing attention.
This can be very stressful. This is the moment when you need to TAKE A STEP BACK and FOCUS ON YOURSELF, your GOALS, and making YOURSELF happy. Don't worry about "What if he/she leaves me because they think I'm too into my own things?" The answer is, Weren't they doing their own things while you were trying to be there for them? If they can have "me time", so can you. If they complain, they have issues. They like when you chase after them while they neglect you.
Ladies and Gentlemen, you both need to put in the work for the relationship to.... Work. Plain and simple. One person carrying a relationship is NOT healthy. If you both work together, the stress is spread evenly. You don't have to feel like you're dealing with life alone if you communicate with your significant other. They should help you through it and you should help them through theirs.
And again, if this person is not putting forth any real effort into your relationship, focus on yourself. Just doing this may make them realize they should be more attentive to you and your needs. If not, maybe you need to be alone or find someonewho will treat you right.
ABOVE ALL, be deserving of someone's love. By this I mean, Don't be a B**ch and expect to be treated like a Queen.
One thing people do not realize is that relationships can be very Stressful. They take a lot of work from BOTH ends. What I'm saying is, you can be in a relationship and work hard to look nice, behave yourself, understand the person, support them, show them how much you love them etc. BUT at the end of the day, you may not get anything in return from the other person.
The sex may be great, they may buy you things and occasionally cuddle. They may do sweet things every once in a blue moon (as I wrote this particular part, a woman in blue jeans bent over in front of my face to talk to her child. Blue Moon indeed. Ahem.) but they may not put in the same amount of effort in the relationship especially in areas needing attention.
This can be very stressful. This is the moment when you need to TAKE A STEP BACK and FOCUS ON YOURSELF, your GOALS, and making YOURSELF happy. Don't worry about "What if he/she leaves me because they think I'm too into my own things?" The answer is, Weren't they doing their own things while you were trying to be there for them? If they can have "me time", so can you. If they complain, they have issues. They like when you chase after them while they neglect you.
Ladies and Gentlemen, you both need to put in the work for the relationship to.... Work. Plain and simple. One person carrying a relationship is NOT healthy. If you both work together, the stress is spread evenly. You don't have to feel like you're dealing with life alone if you communicate with your significant other. They should help you through it and you should help them through theirs.
And again, if this person is not putting forth any real effort into your relationship, focus on yourself. Just doing this may make them realize they should be more attentive to you and your needs. If not, maybe you need to be alone or find someonewho will treat you right.
ABOVE ALL, be deserving of someone's love. By this I mean, Don't be a B**ch and expect to be treated like a Queen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)